Mother God

Twenty years ago, my sister created a piece of artwork she called “Blue Jesus.” Dinah has Prader-Willi Syndrome and at that time was a part of the ArtWorks program in Tucson. The artist in residence was teaching them how to do linocuts. On a 12x18 canvass, Dinah etched out an elementary blue figure that was stretched out on a cross surrounded with what looks like red tear drops. When I first saw the picture, I was awestruck that Dinah could be so creative. She gave the piece to me and over the years, Blue Jesus has taken on a life of its own. Dinah’s artwork continues to draw me deeper into the earthy, yet mystical, life of Jesus the Cosmic Christ. When I look at Blue Jesus, it’s like reading and meditating on a story from the Bible.

What I have learned from Dinah and her has been very helpful in understanding opaque stories in the bible, like the story of Deborah and Jael (Judges 4 and 5). The story of Deborah and Jael is mythopoetic theology. It’s a novel about a feminine protagonist and her complex mystical relationship with YWHW.
The story is meant to teach us about God and how we can access the Divine within this messy, murky, ugly world we live in. Judges chapter 4 is the narrative version of the story. But chapter 5 is the “Blue Jesus” version. The Bible gives us two ways to read the story. The writer knew that people might try to read the story as a historical event, so she wrote a beautiful epic poem to teach us the various ways to understand this story.

To read this story through the eyes of Blue Jesus is to read it like the Jewish mystics. They read the scripture using a four-step method; 1) literal 2) allegorical 3) metaphorical, and 4) mystical.

We start by reading Judges 4 looking for the literal components; We ask ourselves, who are the characters and what are they doing?

• The people of Israel were in Canaan in captivity under King Jabin and his commander, Sisera. Because of the oppression the people of Israel cried out to God for help.
• Deborah was a prophetess and the people of Israel would come to her with their problems and she would help them sort out their troubles. Deborah prophesized that the people of Israel would have victory over their oppressors.
• As Sisera’s army was being overcome, he escaped and went into the desert.
• There, he met Jael, who hid him in her tent and when he had fallen asleep, she kills him, assuring Israel’s victory.

In step two, we shift to chapter 5 where the story is written as a poem. Here we read the story allegorically. We ask ourselves, what are the symbols and what are their meanings?

• The first allegorical lesson is that the people of Israel were in captivity, like we find ourselves at times in life. In the NRSV it says the people had done “evil” and in the Hebrew bible it says, “the Israelites had done what was offensive to the Lord.” For whatever reason, the people of Israel found themselves under the thumb of an oppressive government. So, they cried out to YHWH for help. What’s the allegorical meaning? Sometimes we find ourselves in oppressive situations. The oppressor might be the government, the culture, our family, our job, our circumstance in life. Whatever the situation, this story is telling us that when we cry out to YHWH, the divine will hear us.


• The second allegorical lesson is that Deborah and Jael represent two of the many feminine aspects of God. Deborah represents the Divine Mother and Jael represents the feminine warrior of the Divine. In one of the traditions of Jewish mysticism there are 70 faces of the Divine. We get glimpses of those faces though the story in Genesis that teaches us that we are created in the imagine of the Divine. From that statement, then we can conclude that YWHW contains every facet of the total human experience.

Step three, we read the story metaphorically. In other words, what does this story mean for us today?

The story about Israel, Deborah, and Jael is about spiritual growth. It’s not a literal story about a battle against some evil oppressive enemy. This is story about how we can become one with God; it’s a story about our struggles with those things that distract us from the One Holy Living God.

Metaphorically speaking, this story teaches us that as a community, we are Israel. Israel represents the human heart. Our heart is the object of God’s love. We are the beloved. We are the bride. But, as in any love affair, mistakes happen. The moral of this story is that even in the midst of our failures, when we cry out to our beloved Divine Mother, God will hear us and respond. The words of the Divine Mother are comforting. She tells us that, though we have failed, we are still loved. And the Divine Mother gives us words of reassurance. She tells that us, though we have failed, we can still achieve spiritual oneness in our lives. Because in those moments when we think we cannot hear God, or that God is not speaking to us, it’s in those moments that the Divine Warrior is there to protect us, and at times, help us find victory whatever distracts us from our potential spiritual growth.

Step four, we read the story looking for the mystical meaning. There are countless mystical meanings hidden in every biblical story. That’s why we read and re-read the stories. To be mystical, is to have the desire to be one with God. Oneness is our spiritual goal, our deepest desire.

As I read the story of Deborah and Jael this week, I came away with some pointed questions and a few conclusions. Questions about things that might be keeping me and us from being at One with YHWH.

Deborah and Jael represent the Divine Mother and Divine Feminine-Warrior. They represent the presence of God in all women. I must see the many faces of the Divine in every woman. If I can’t the faces of the Divine in every woman, then maybe I am the oppressor is this story?
In light of the flood of revelations about sexual harassment in our country, I had to ask myself the tough questions. Have I said something inappropriate? Have I unknowingly done anything inappropriate? Have I not spoke up to support women when I should have? As a man, I must question myself constantly and be ever vigilant, not tolerating any kind of words or actions that are offensive to women. I must support women who have been abused and who speak out. The recent revelations about the pervasive nature of sexual harassment in our country is the very reason The Episcopal Church is requiring every clergy, staff, and volunteer to take Safeguarding God’s people. We must strive to see the Divine face of God in every human being and act accordingly.

The second question that arose for me from this reading is, “If this text is teaching me that when we worship YHWH, we are worshipping not only Father, Son, and Holy Spirit but also Mother, Daughter, Sophia Spirit, then why am I still using the male only version of the Trinity?” I can no longer assume that anyone who walks through the church doors, or anyone I am talking to, or anyone who reads my writing, will know that I don’t think that God is a male, or that God can only be described in male terms.

I have to wonder if the church’s use of patriarchal language has contributed to men feeling they have power over women. And that men might misuse this power by speaking or acting toward women in an ungodly manner. If, in any way, exclusively using patriarchal language in the church has contributed to this kind of unacceptable behavior, then I believe the church must change the words used in the liturgy.

This morning we prayed that we might be able hear, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest the scriptures. Over the years, my mystical sister and Blue Jesus have been teaching me the true meaning of this prayer. Reading the bible, truly reading and studying the bible, is hard work. And the end result of that work leaves me constantly being challenged to make significant changes in the way I live and worship. To not make those changes leaves me feeling complicit to things I know in my heart offend the One Holy Living God. I pray God will hear me when I cry out in my prayers, so that transformation can take place in my life.

I encourage you to consider reading Rob Bell’s book, “What is the Bible?” His work is an excellent place to start in seeing the Bible through a different lens.

Tantric Jesus; an image from the East

"Tantric Jesus: The Erotic Heart of Early Christianity"
a book by James Hughes Reho

“Tantric Jesus” is a beautiful book; the prose is both subtle and evocative; the art is captivating; and the author shines an ancient light on Christianity’s potential ancient/future path. James Reho has, with wisdom, brought together Eastern and Western spirituality in such a way as to make possible the integration of the mind, body, soul, and spirit.

Reho is an ordained Episcopal priest, has a Ph.D. in Chemistry from Princeton, and is a certified yoga instructor. In “Tantric Jesus” he couples the opposites of spirit and matter, rational and mystical, esoteric and practical, the East and the West, Tantric and Christian.

The author’s premise is straightforward. “Original Christian spirituality is a tantric spirituality.” And then he presents his claim on the ideal of “Christian Tantra.” Throughout the book, Reho is careful to inform the uninitiated as well as maintain the interest of the adept. He writes that, “Tantra is a philosophy of life, love, and being—grounded in practice—that can help us reengage the deep and life-transforming truths of Christianity is a fresh way.” Reho relies on early Christian writers including Pelagius, Origen, Irenaeus, Hildegard of Bingen, and Meister Eckhart, the medieval metaphysical poet John Donne, as well as contemporary writers and mystics Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Cynthia Bourgeault, and John Philip Newell as a way of bringing modernity’s Christians along into the world that bridges Western and Eastern Spirituality.

Quickly, Reho establishes a lens through which we can begin to understand Tantra by providing us with the five points of the tantric worldview:

• The world is real and good.
• The dynamic face of the Divine is a feminine face.
• The embodied human person is the primary temple of the Divine.
• Engaging our primal erotic energy through spiritual practice and antinomian behaviors (that Christians are released by grace from the obligations of observing the moral law) rooted in compassion and justice are the fuel of the spiritual life; and
• A vibrant, deep energetic relationship with the living Teacher (the Cosmic Jesus Christ) strengthens us for spiritual progress in this life.

Though I was not intimately familiar with tantric philosophy and practice before reading this book, I have begun to adapt some of Reho’s thoughts and suggested practices into my daily life. He provides the reader with personal stories and meditations that anyone could practice, even without becoming a practitioner of Tantric yoga.

While I do highly recommend “Tantric Jesus” to those interested in the melding of Eastern spirituality with the Christian way of living, I do have one concern and one minor critique. My one concern is Reho’s insistence on continuing to use Creedal language with his post-Christian interpretation. I don’t disagree with his post-Christian (or ancient spirituality) perspective, in fact I agree with it. My problem is that, as I have encountered people trying to find a new method of understanding or expressing faith, they are often put off by Christianity’s patriarchal terms. Words like, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and the ancient practice of crossing oneself, just to name a few. I have the same issue with Bourgeault. Both of these brilliant theologians and imaginative futurist seem to think that modernity’s seekers will remain patient with archaic language long enough to hear a re-imagined interpretation. I wonder if they will. Words are all we have to communicate our ancient/future weaving of faith and practice. I believe we do not have to remain confined by fourth century theological constructions. There are other words that the church could use to send a more inclusive understanding of the mystical One whose name we cannot comprehend. Actually, I believe the Nicene Creed needs a critical re-write.

My only critique of Reho’s beautiful writing is rather trivial compared to my issue with his use of Creedal language. Often times he neither cited the author nor the source he quotes, which then drove me to the footnotes. Leaving a marker for the footnotes and returning to them on multiple occasions for each chapter left me annoyed. But not enough to stop reading. He simply slowed me down. And, honestly, I have to wonder if other readers would care as much for such information as I do. Ah, to be trivial. Don’t let my pickiness stop you from reading Reho’s excellent book, “Tantric Jesus.”

Talking to the Dead

I’ve dealt with my share of loss, tragedy, and death. Each of these events carried their own weight. Given our societal expectations, I did what was expected of me; I suppressed the loss and didn’t grieve. I was told that men don’t grieve. And I was told that Christian’s don’t grieve. Men are tough and Jesus is to answer to everything. In other words, time will heal all wounds so just get over it.

Over time, I became depressed and angry. I didn’t think I was depressed and surely had nothing to be angry about. But I’m pretty sure other people saw those things in me. In 2004, I left Grand Canyon University under less than optimal conditions. I entered the process to become an Episcopal priest. As part of becoming a priest, I enrolled in Clinical Pastoral Education, which, in part, is an internship as a hospital chaplain. At the same time, I entered what would become twelve years of therapy. Through both of those experiences, I learned that in order to minister to the dying, the grieving, and the dead, I first had to process my own loss and grief. That work was public, vulnerable, and painful. But it was also healing.

During my time as a priest I have sat with those who have lost their careers, their savings, their homes, their marriages, their spouses, their children, their freedom, and their own lives. I have sat with suicide survivors. I have sat with those who lost children to drugs. I have sat with those who lost loved ones from life destroying disease. I have sat in homes, hospitals, psych-wards, and prisons in order to listen to other people’s loss. Their grief process triggered my own and over time, I have learned how to differentiate their grief from mine. The process of grief never ends because the dead and our loss are always with us.

To be willing to process grief is to be fully alive; deeply engaged in the dynamic process of living. To be dead, however, is no less a dynamic process. Whatever is alive—lives, moves, and has its being in the dimension we see. And though we may not see the dead—they live, move, and have their being in the dimension that exists all around us. To be alive and to be dead is to exist within the Divine Milieu.

Still, the living miss the dead. We ache to see them. to touch them, to hear them. And this loss leaves us with a pain, a darkness, a void that can be overwhelming. Oddly enough, those painful feelings are not grief itself. Grief is not a feeling. Grief is the active process through which we process our painful feelings. Unfortunately, many times, we do everything we can to avoid the process of grieving; thinking the pain will somehow go away. Trouble is, it never does.

No matter how hard we try, we can’t get away from loss and death because it’s everywhere. We suffer personal loss. We lose our loved ones. And we also lose jobs, suffer career disappointments, we go through ugly divorces, our family relationships are estranged.

We also suffer loss as a community. Our institutions betray us, our communities fall apart, our beloved leaders move on for reasons that are sometimes good and other times bad, either way we still suffer their departure. Without regard to how we suffer these events of loss and death—we still must go through the grief process; both individually and collectively. If we don’t, we will continue to suffer.
Unprocessed grief will linger in our mind, body, soul, and spirit forever; no matter how much we try to medicate it. We think if we get busy and stop thinking about the pain we can keep our loved ones off our mind. We look for ways to distract ourselves, ways that we hope will help us forget for a brief period of time. Spouses remarry too soon. Lovers sell their homes just to avoid their memories. Children move away so they don’t have to be reminded of their loss. We get new jobs thinking that will assuage our pain. And sometimes we look for unhealthy means to medicate our pain. Somehow, we believe that time will heal all things. But, deep down, we know that’s not true. In fact, the pain just gets worse.

How do we process grief in healthy ways? Rituals are a very important part of the process. Things like:

• Funerals; you might be surprised how many people will not have a service of any kind for their loved one.
• a prayer service or mass to remember the anniversary or birthday of a loved one
• telling stories at holiday events
• journaling and sharing our dreams about our loved ones.
• Simply talking about the dead, helps the grieving process. It many ways, it keeps them alive.

These rituals help us process our grief. They also can assist in connecting with dead. When the dead speak, we must listen. The ancient ones, the wise ones, the wounded ones offer the lament of the dead. The dead want to share their wisdom if we have ears to hear. Can all the living hear the dead? I don’t know, but I hope so. But for those who do have ears to hear, the dead speak through holy texts, through history, as well as in some very mystical ways. Moses and Elijah spoke to Jesus in a misty mountain top. If Jesus could hear the dead, we can too. But, for those who for some reason cannot hear their love ones speak, the pain can be severe.

Here is a four-step grief process; no matter how fresh or how old the loss; no matter whether it’s a personal loss or a communal loss, no matter whether you can hear the dead or not:

1. Pray for God to give you the strength to name your loss. This may be the hardest thing to do. You must name what it is that you have lost; what it is
that is causing you so much pain. You must be honest with yourself. Dig deep to find the answer. Sometimes the obvious is not the answer.
2. Pray for God to clearly reveal to you what you have not honestly confronted in your loss: anger, resentment, bitterness, abandonment, fear, emptiness,
whatever you’re feeling.
3. Pray for God to allow you to find a safe place to process those feelings of loss. Maybe you need a spiritual director to talk to. Maybe you need to
journal your feelings. Whatever it is, you must be able to express your feelings in a safe, but open way.
4. Pray for God to reveal to you, ways you can ritualize your loss. One of them is our service this morning. By placing the names of those you have lost on
this altar, you are publicly recognizing your loss, the pain, and your willingness to continue the active process of grieving.

We might imagine that personal grief and corporate grief are unrelated. But that’s not the case. Corporate grief will trigger personal grief. All of these rituals help us process our personal grief and they will also help us process our congregational grief. Everyone one of these steps is necessary. Otherwise, the grief will never be processed. And, if the it’s not, unfortunately, somewhere, sometime, the grief will rear its head—and most likely we will repeat our personal and congregational history.