God, can I just take a few weeks off from you? Oh, it's actually you who want to take a few weeks off from me? Oh great, now I'm in real trouble. All I wanted was just a couple of days where I wasn't always thinking about whether you are actually there or here or somewhere. And I could really use a break from trying to talk to you or pray or whatever it is that I'm doing. Just for a moment I'd like to clear my mind and be released from the wrestling that is always going on in my soul. Now I find out it's you, God, who would like a break from my two-year-old like whining temper tantrums and paradoxical clinging. That scares me to death. Do you really want a vacation from me?
The Peregrini gathering made some passes at my wandering and rambling questions. We have unique fellow travelers; Christians of wide stripes, some nothings and don't want to bes, former this and that's, a few agnostics and some admitted doubters. Each in their own space. While the group rarely comes to consensus, this was one of those odd nights.
It seems that we can not get away from ourselves. To quote an Irish saying, "Wherever you go there you'll be." Life is a fabric, a woven tapestry, of which, to pull out some thread is at least dangerous, if not unwarranted. And to put it back into its place, well, that ridiculously impossible. While we can weave new threads into our life, temporarily withdrawing colorful pieces or bland lines, can only create a weakening and unraveling of the art of our life. If God is an intricate part of my life, maybe even the weaver or the loom itself, how could I extract myself from what is myself? Not possible.
As for God's taking leave? Well, we are promised that God will never leave us or forsake us. We trust that is the case. True, I'm pretty sure God gets real sick of my childish antics - but, we're supposed to have childlike faith; right? Ok, I know about the need to stop drinking the babies milk and start eating the meat of adulthood (well, at least good protein of some kind for vegetarians) - time to grow up. Well, sort of.
It is time to recognize that taking time off from God is no more possible than taking time off from the essence of myself. God, ever Present and constantly moving in the grace of the mystery of life, faith, struggle and the evolution of personhood.
Peregrini has formed community that exists beyond itself. It continues to grow, develop, change, re-invent itself and acknowledge new personalities. The chemistry of the experience is no other way explainable than it is a God-thing. Thank you to all pilgrims for your participation, support, interest and thoughts. Join us when you can on the first and third Thursdays of each month at 7:00 pm at the Fair Trade Cafe in Phoenix, Arizona - on Central and Roosevelt just behind Trinity Cathedral. All are welcome and every question is possible; just don't expect any answers - even though sometimes they do arrive.