God and baseball

I Was physically present to watch Cub fans in Phoenix wretch as their beloved losers, lost yet again. Kissing the Billy Goat? Pucker up. At Chase Field in Phoenix we had several Cub fans sitting around us. They were sharing stories of how much they paid for their tickets, $100 a seat, $150, $250, that’s a lot of money. I didn’t mention that my dad is a season ticket holder and paid the face value of $40. Oh yea, he gave me the tickets. I wondered to myself about the value of capitalism. Of course I also wondered about my own ethics of reveling in the joy of watching Cub fans once again squirm as they watched their hapless team struggle for the 99th year. As one blog suggests, God is a Cubs fan – God must be – God is all about suffering and who suffers more than the Cubs? Actually, I have a theory that the Cubs are losers by design – for them losing is profitable – the theory eases my guilt over feelings pains of capitalism. I’m a socialist and think Christians are socialist by the nature of Jesus’ teaching. Profit sharing is good for baseball because its a good socialist practice – and God must be in there somewhere.

Making it to second base with God and other musing from the dashboard light – I read a blog titled “God hates Cleveland sports.” Not! Cleveland just beat the Yankees in the bottom of the 11th and how did they do it? Canadian Soldier bugs that came in from the lake caused Joba Chamberlain to throw two wild pitches in the 7th inning – otherwise the Indians would have lost. Canadian Soldier bugs have a life of 48 hours. They actually hatched early because of the warm humid day in Cleveland. They showed up in the 8th inning because the wind died down. Sounds like Moses and the plagues on Pharaoh. Remember that? Yeah, gnats that swarmed the people forcing the oppressor to re-think long term slavery and captivity. The Yankees as oppressors? Cleveland the chosen people of God? Well I don’t know about the chosen people of God but clearly the Yankees and their oppressive “Boss” with too much capitalistic money lives in the house of Pharaoh. God hate Cleveland? He just sent the Canadian Soldiers as your savior.

God? Praying for peace?

It seems more difficult each day to pray for peace when the possibility of it is so remote. World leaders grapple with the political nuances of the needs of their own kingdoms while refusing to make decisons based on the economy of the absence of global conflict. Is peace in the world possible? Is peace within my own life possible?

Our Peregrini group wrestled with these questions. Prompted by our weekly prayer for peace and all peacemakers, we also struggled with our responsibility to be prophets and activists for peace. Do we support political leaders who advocate otherwise? What does it mean to "support" a political leader? Vote? What about working to overthrow a government? Here, there, anywhere?

Somehow keeping these questions in the context of a God conversation become confusing or at least troubling. Are we Americans first or Christians first? Surely they are not one in the same - but what happens when the objectives of one flys in the face of the other? These are questions that weighed heavy on our weekly discussion.

"We pray for continued blessings on all peacemakers, on leaders who value peace, and on everyone who promotes nonviolent solutions to conflict. We pray for a speedy end to all violence and warfare around the world."

God? You could at least remember her name

Elvira Arellano captured our attention last week. About a year ago she was taken in Sanctuary by Alberto United Methodist Church in Chicago. Elvira and her eight year-old son, Saul, lived in the church for just over 12 months.

Elvira is an undocumented alien who was working at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport where she cleaned airplanes to support the two of them. Her son is a US citizen. The church supported her in an attempt to prevent her from being deported.

This last week, while traveling between churches in Los Angeles where she was speaking about the plight of undocumented aliens, she was arrested. She was deported to Tijuana the next day.

Our Peregrini centered upon the role of the Church (if any) in providing sanctuary for those who seek it. The conversation covered a wide range of possibilities whereby some might seek sanctuary. While no resolution was derived there was lively debate about the legitimacy of someone who has committed a crime seeking solace under the grace of the church.

The most stunning part of the evening came after the official conversation while we cleaning up. When we started the evening I apologized for not being able to remember this woman’s name. While we were cleaning up Tyler reminded me that her name is Elvira. He told me he had heard lots of conversation about this topic on talk-radio. One commentator couldn’t remember the woman’s name and he remarked, “it doesn’t really matter.” Tyler said it does matter because without a name and face we can forget that we are talking about real people with hurts and pains just like ours. Thanks for reminding me Tyler and I pray not to forget Elvira and her Saul.

God? Double Dipping

The Rev. Ann Holmes Redding said in a recent Christian Century article titled "Episcopal Priest who embraced islam suspended for a year" that she is both Muslim and Christian. "I'm both an American of African descent and a woman. I'm 100 percent both. At the most basic level, I understand the two religions to be compatible. That's all I need." Redding told her story to the Seattle times in June.

Her Bishop, The Rt. Rev. Geralyn Wolf, suspended her for a year to "reflect on the doctrines of Christian faith and her vocation as a priest." Wolf states that he sees "the conflicts inherent in professing both Christianity and Islam."

Our Peregrini discussion divided the conversation into several parts.

First, no one thought any bishop would take such an action against a lay person. Some of our group doubted that some bishops would even take a similar action against some priests that they suspicion might have similar leaning, or at least embrace another religion like Buddhism.

Second, there was some serious conversation given to the idea that the priest, as an employee of the church and having taken vows of holy orders has an obligation to be one who "proclaims the gospel." However, it was pointed out that it would be hard to find any priest that weren't in violation of such canons. Who would be the keeper of the "orthodoxy?" Would we be heading to more inquistions?

Third, some made the point, "who really cares?" Until religion can get over itself and begin understanding itself as all a part of One Holy God and not holy apostolic and catholic Church, it will be at the root of conflict and even war. Because we may not be able to accommodate The Rev. Redding, we probably are driving others who are eclectic in faith, away from the church as a whole. Just another form of fundamentalism? What do you think?

Theology on Tap:Does God Happen to Everyone?

Theology on Tap - Does God Happen to Everyone?

The Rev. Kate Bradley led our pilgrims in a troubling conversation. Kate is always open and personal. She told us about her childhood experience of being encountered by a very tangible God. It was the beginning of her journey that has led her to be a priest in the Episcopal Church. But, the question was, does everyone have this kind of experience and if not, why not?

Carole offered the story of a 50 year-old friend who has lived a prayerful and disciplined life, hoping and longing for Kate’s kind of spiritual contact with God. Carole’s friend wants to feel that God loves him and knows him personally. Is that too much to ask? Her friend lives in the continued agony of aching for an experience that he has no hope will happen.

The conversation focused on the friend. Maybe he just hasn’t contexted his own experience in such a fashion that he could quantify such an existential moment? Maybe God has offered such an experience and he just hasn’t known it? Or felt it? Maybe it will happen?

We were told that in the book What Ever Happened to the Soul? by Warren Brown and Nancy Murphy that neuroscience suggests that the brain is either wired for spiritual experience or it is not. Spiritual experience, visions, can be provoked by neuro-stimulus. Maybe her friend just isn’t “properly wired.”

In all honestly that viewpoint was heartily argued against. Not necessarily from a scientific perspective but from the point of the limitations of the unseen God.

It was suggested that her friend had every right to beseech God about God’s absence. The Psalms are full of those crying out to God to be fully present to the experience of humanity.

We were told about Sister Theresa who lived her life without any ecstatic experience of God. She simply chose to live a life of daily obedience and service.

Obviously we didn’t come to any conclusions – we just shared lots of ideas and personal stories. Join in the conversation.

Pilgrimage 27 days without email

Pilgrimage 27 days without email.

Just finished a 27 day pilgrimage in Ireland. I walked about 100 miles the first 10 days. The remainder of the trip was spent using various forms of transportation across Ireland. With walking always being the best way to see into the soul.

The anticipation of the experience made it difficult for me to be present here. My soul wanted to travel across the water before my body could leave Arizona. Once in Ireland the attention to intentional presence was easy to give in to.

Initially I didn’t intend to ignore my email. Figuring it would be inconvenient, I just thought I would sit down once a week and pick through the mail. Computers were available in most everyplace we stayed and every town we walked through. The first few days I was just too tired to care about it. Then the longer I didn’t check it the more intent I became on staying away from it. I never checked my email or even used a computer for 27 days. Actually I rarely used a phone. Each day I felt the better for the detachment.

At one point I entertained the thought of simply giving up my computer and email once I would return home. Obviously, I didn’t do that. But, in some sense I have made some serious decisions about my use of the internet and email.

When walking I was able to see things I could not have seen otherwise. Some because we were in the forest and walking was the only way to get where we were. Some though was simply because in walking we had the time to stop and look at new born sheep, wind toppled trees, perched hawks, long forgotten ruins and to talk to pilgrims traveling in the opposite direction. Life at three, two or one mile an hour has a much different view.

Walking pilgrimage has affected my prayer life and slowed down my work pace. Praying without ceasing seems more plausible and multi-tasking feels obscene. Taking a picture is good. Drawing pictures causes for reflection. Prose tells stories. Poetry tells the soul.

Our host and Good Samaritan in Roundwood told me that he had to scroll down to read my posts and sermons they were too long – it takes away from the walking.

Peregrini looks at the next journey

Peregrini, pilgrims on the spiritual journey, keep journals, look for signs and try to ascertain if the direction is one being of being fetched. Never wanting to plod along with our heads down, we scan the landscape, ever intentional, looking for new possibilities. Experiences that provoke the spirit.

Our intenitional Peregrini gathering has been built around the premise that the question is more important than the answer. "God?" has been the beginning or our conversation for almost three years. Our intentions are that this open ended possibility continue.

After a night of serious conversation about the next stage of journey, fellow Peregrini came to the point of looking for where that next leg might be. Without changes the strengths of Peregrini, the open ended questions, the meal, the freedom to drop in and out, we have added some sign posts for the journey.

First, we will meet every Thursday at 7:00 pm. Second, we will meet at St. Augustine's on Broadway and College. This venue affords us a more comfortable setting, easy access to the kitchen and a consistent evening of gathering. While holding to our hour and half format we intend to add some features which should make the experience even more experimental for the explorer.

We will begin our new format and location on August 2. Our last gathering at Fair Trade Cafe will be June 7. The topic will be "God? What am I looking for?"

Thanks to Fair Trade Cafe who has been a gracious host for the past three years. We appreciate your hospitality. Most of us will still drop by and visit you on a regular occasion.

St. Brigid's Community

ST BRIGID’S COMMUNITY
A NEO-MONASTIC GATHERING

St. Brigid’s Community is a gathering of people who are committed to creating a pattern for their lives. This pattern includes the many facets of the prayer and practice of our Christian walk. The pattern of this community is one that is like being on a pilgrimage. Like being on a long walk that is more about the journey than the destination.

This pilgrimage is centered on monastic prayer. Monastic prayer is rhythmic. We pray daily. The Daily Office of The Book of Common Prayer informs our daily prayer life. This rhythmic prayer forms within the individual a merciful and a peaceful life.
Those of us in St. Brigid’s Community don’t live in a monastery. We strive to create a monastic-like experience for those who live near and far from our location. Hence, the name, “neo-monastic.” “Neo” meaning that we are people who live in the world yet have a deep yearn to be in a prayerful community; this is a new way to form this prayerful community.

If you are connected to St. Brigid’s Community in any way, through our worship services, the ecmasu.org website, or Peregrini, you are probably aware of the brief history available about St. Brigid, patron saint of Ireland. There are numerous websites dedicated to providing as much information as might be available pertaining to our chosen saint.

The reasons that St. Brigid was chosen as the guide and model for our community are four fold; 1) As an ordained woman she gave leadership to her community, 2) that community was established as the first monastery for both men and women, 3) while being true to her Celtic history she embraced Christianity, and 4) she served the poor of her community.
At St. Brigid’s Community we look to her as our model. We respect and support the ordained leadership of women. Our community is both for women and men. We hold to the importance of indigenous religious faith and the inclusion of all of God’s creation into our community. And we seek to serve Christ in the poor.

We exist as a neo-monastic community. This means that though we do not have a monastery. We instead exist in the world. While we do gather regularly in services for Eucharist and prayer at St. Augustine’s Episcopal Parish in Tempe, Arizona, many of the members of St. Brigid’s Community live outside our community and are not able to attend these gatherings. (Some live in other States or are abroad.)

To be part of St. Brigid’s Community we ask that you follow these simple practices.
First, write a letter to the elected prior of the community stating your desire to join. In your letter you should tell us why you want to be a member of the community.

Second, as a part of the letter please make a statement of your commitment to these practices: 1) to be under regular spiritual direction, 2) that under the guidance of your spiritual director you will be writing your own Rule of Life following the pattern of Benedictine Spirituality, 3) you will either pray with us in person or on your own for morning prayers or evening prayers each Tuesday 4) you will join us in the daily practice of reading The Benedictine Rule written by Joan Chittister and 5) you will join us or some other community for weekly Eucharist.

We have chosen to model our rule of life after that established by St. Benedict. It is one of the oldest and most widely used rules still today. Its beauty is in its simplicity and flexibility. Reading Chittister’s interpretation of the Benedictine Rule make it applicable for lives lived in the twenty-first century.

A personal rule should reflect the desire of the heart to live a Christian life that serves Christ and the world. Each person, with the guidance of a spiritual director, develops his or her own rule.

And finally, after receiving affirmation of your intention, you will be considered an aspirant for the community of St. Brigid. For a period of at least six months we will pray with you as you seek to follow and possibly modify your own rule. Following the six-month period you will be asked to write the community a letter reviewing your progress and restating your desire to become a member of St. Brigid’s Community. Establishing yourself as a member of St. Brigid’s Community is something you will want to consider prayerfully as it will change and form for your life for years to come.

The community will review your letter and communicate with you acceptance into St. Brigid’s Community. Hopefully in person, or via the Internet you will be accepted as a member. Members are given a St. Brigid’s Community cross that they may wear.

Member’s will continue their Rule and prayer practice as well as commit to praying for the St. Brigid’s Community each day and making a contribution to the work of serving Christ in the poor. That contribution will be of your own choosing and location. You may contribute to the work at St. Brigid’s Community in Tempe but that is not required.

We will be in prayer with you as you consider becoming a member of St. Brigid’s Community and we look forward to hearing from you.

You can contact us via this blog or at gstafford3@cox.net or by writing to St. Augustine's Episcopal Parish 1735 S. College Ave. Tempe, AZ 85281 - you can check out our website at ecmasu.org or asu.azdiocese.org or staugustine.azdiocese.org

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday 2007

Got an email from someone yesterday asking me what was acceptable to “give up” for Lent? That’s the usual question isn’t it? What am I going to give up this year?

The better question may be to ask why do I want to give up whatever it is I am going to sacrifice. Well, I could give up eating dessert. Besides, by giving up dessert I could kill two birds with one stone – make a sacrifice and lose weight all at the same time. I’m going to give up eating chocolate, or stop smoking, or quit drinking. All good things to stop doing and all for good reasons.

At some point, though, it almost sounds like a New Year’s resolution. Of which, I recall, few of us ever wind up keeping.

What I pray is that the season of Lent is more meaningful than making some temporary sacrifice. My hope is that Lent can be a place where we can lay some things aside so that there might be some space in our lives for God to create formation within us. Let me offer three suggestions for creating space in our lives.

First, simplicity. The spiritual life is best lived in simplicity. But, living in our world in a simple manner is really difficult. Most of us would probably like to live simpler lives but we also have to acknowledge that that might not be possible. I don’t have any easy answers.

A few years ago, a friend suggested to me that every day I leave the house with either something to throw away or give away. It does make me mindful of the amount of just “stuff” that I have. Simplify, my friend told me.

Slowing down, taking time to breathe, taking a long slow walk, cleaning out the garage, all things that can help us simplify our lives.

Simplifying my life can create space in it for God to do God’s work of forming me and molding me into a useful vessel. A vessel that can serve others.

Second, solidarity. Besides being a time of “giving up,” Lent can also be a time of giving. Being in solidarity with someone or a cause that needs our help. It might be an organization that could use some of our time. Maybe a neighbor needs us to fix them dinner or mow their lawn. Possibly someone in our family needs our attention. By being in solidarity with someone in need, we are ministering to our Lord Jesus. Jesus tells that when we minister to least of these we are ministering to Jesus.

Finally, community. When we gather in community we strengthen and encourage one another. We all need the community to come along aside us and walk with us as we journey through the season of Lent. Walking by ourselves is lonely and we can lose our way, but by joining hands with one another we can be assured that we will make our way out of the desert of Lent.

What’s acceptable to give up for Lent? That’s a really good question that takes some time to ponder and pray over. Whatever you decide, I pray that you can create a little extra space for God to do some work. The Lord be with you and those to whom you serve and love.

Saint Brigid

February 1st is the celebration of the feast of St. Brigid. Second only to St. Patrick, she is one of the most venerated saints of Ireland. She lived in Kildare in the late 5th and early 6th century. Many legends and tales have emerged from this era which has little documented history. Some have suggested that much of what is known about her is the blended stories of Celtic Christianity.

As best as can be known she was someone who cared deeply for the poor. She started and led a monastery for both men and women; something obviously quite rare. She also may have the first female bishop. Though, possibly ordained as such by accident, she still managed the monastic community with the authority of a bishop.

What is important for the community around which many of us gather here in Tempe, Arizona is that we hold up St. Brigid as someone to model. A woman who led a monastic community of women and men. She provided episcopal leadership for her community that existed to serve and care for the poor of Kildare.

It is this model that reveres and respects the leadership of women in communities of women and men that we admire. Especially Christian communities that exist to serve others. We seek to emulate her Celtic understandings of prayer and practice. And we desire to call others into this experience with us.

In the next few months we will begin reaching out to create St. Brigid's Community. It will be a group of people who may meet regularly to worship, prayer and serve together - as well, it will be nourished by those who can not meet regularly with us but instead are a part of internet community.

St. Brigid's Community will be Benedictine and follow the Rule of Life. We will pattern ourselves after St. Brigid's monastery of women and men. We seek to worship, pray and serve.

If you're interested in such a community check back here and then let me know and I will send along more specific information. The Lord be with you.

Oh yes, how could I forget - St. Brigid said, or at least some believe she said, that paradise would be to find God and all the saints in a huge lake of beer. Well tonight, celebrate as a saint with Brigid and all the saints and have a cold one.

Santa Barbara Writer's Workshop

My brain is on fire. Fueled by Nora Gallagher, Barbara Brown Taylor and the hospitality of Mt. Calvary Monastery. Six days of uninterrupted writing. Seminars conducted by two gifted women who have earned the right to critique and mentor. Daily bathed in the rhythmic prayers of the Brothers of the Mt. Calvary Monastery. If this is heaven then I’m pitching a tent.

The Louisville Institute selected twenty writers. Each writer has published. All came with a hunger for spiritual writing. The group was ecumenical, Baptist, Catholic, Congregational, Episcopal, Methodist, Presbyterian, Reformed. The occupations varied, non-profit, consultant, professor, professional writer, and clergy. The group was eclectic. However not ethnically diverse; this is puzzling and troubling.

Nora Gallagher has authored Things Seen and Unseen and Practicing Resurrection. She has a first novel arriving in bookstores Changing Light. Barbara Brown Taylor has authored several books her latest being Leaving Church. Having read all but Nora’s new novel I find their work models of how to question the church while still loving it. Their writing inspires readers both those in and out of the church.

We were challenged to approach writing with the same reverence and discipline of a spiritual practice. The daily exercise of writing expects its own attention. Told to forget everything we learned in school about writing, we were liberated to begin to think creatively. I was surprised how exhausted I was at the end of each day.

Gallagher is edgy, direct, precise and thorough. She listens with piercing eyes. She speaks with long fingers. Her cautious smile is tempered by the turns in life’s labyrinth.

Religious clichés are screens against reality, Nora warned us. They are dangerous because of their use by the powerful to maintain the status quo. Reality, she said, lies behind the cliché. Writing must come out of an experience generated through the body. Provoked, writers must continually ask themselves, “What is this story really about.” Understanding the difference between circumstance and story will bring life to words.

Taylor’s twenty years of priestly ministry can be seen in her gaze. She laughs at herself easily. Her subtle accent softens provocative words. Her gentle southern manner lowers defenses long enough for stories to find their exact mark.

Among Barbara’s offering were four steps and four tools for the scientific act of creativity. Preparation, incubation, illumination and translation comprise the process. Some of the tools include being aware of creativity already possessed, binding the internal critic, attending to detail and releasing of the inexhaustible curiosity.

Both presenters had the focused scope of memoir. Each has experience with other genre, however, little time was set aside for those discussions.

The participants brought a 2500 word piece. Our work was shared, reviewed, and critiqued. We each had the opportunity for a private consult with our teachers. The two made themselves regularly available for questions and counsel. Their energy and love for their craft is contagious.

I left the seminar with new confidence in my writing. Gaining an understanding of my weaknesses and now feeling I have the tools to improve. I now have a colony of compadres who will encourage and question. This allows me to venture into unexplored areas of interest. Most importantly, I am in better touch with my writing. The new found relationship has released the inner self onto the page.

Humbled by the breaking of bread with the community. Nourished by sharing communion with new friends. Pushed to move outside of comfort zones. My prayer is that the fire in my brain will burn continually. Burning incense that will rise into the images of the reader.

The situation and the story

I'm here at the Mt. Calvary Monastary emersed in the Writer's Workshop with Nora Gallagher and Barbara Brown Taylor. My brain is on fire. My soul is raw, exposed on the ledge. The winds are blowing intensely at the mouth of the canyon. And the Spirit is equally carving on my stone exterior to reveal the part of me that needs to escape and be known.

Nora asked us the defeaning question, "what is your story about?" The situation is the event. It's the diary I keep each day describing life's circumstances. The story however lies between the lies, sometimes more obvious than others. Her example was Moby Dick. The situation is a man on the hunt of a whale. The story is obsession.

Our exercise, simple and unassuming, was to write for five minutes about our favorite dessert. So here goes. I'll share my little story with you.

my favorite dessert

My favorite dessert is a handful of EL Fudge cookies and a glass of Jamieson. Somehow they go so well together. Particularly after a day of hospitals and existential crisis brought on by demons seen and unseen, the pleasure of chocolate icing in a vanilla cookie with aged whiskey eases the evils of the world back into a corner where the gate can be closed at least long enough to sleep for a few hours. And when the hours before cookies and milk have pushed against my anger button by some asshole of proportion only equal to their own shitness, well, biting the heads off of some unsuspecting elf downed with a straight shot kicks the ass of that fucking bastard that much the better.

Ok, there it is. Situation and story.

Barbara gave tips on how to bind the critic. Free writing, free association, writing without editing, having a dialogue with your critic, all of these techniques are intended to free the writer from their own worst enemy - the critic who lies within all writers. We need the critic; to determine if we are speaking to the audience. Most importantly writers need to be in an open relationship with their critic. Easier to write than to do. Hopefully, this week, my critic went home for awhile and left me to my own worst end and best writing.

I have, I believe done of some of my best work this week. Time will tell. More later.

Monastary & Writing

I'm sitting in a windowed room at Mt. Calvary Monastary in Santa Barbara, CA. It's on a hill overlooking the city and now I can see the lights not only of the city but of ships on the ocean. Santa Barbara faces the south which means you can see the sun rise and set over the ocean from this location. That is a metaphor for life at the monastary and for being at this writer's workshop.

Nora Gallagher, author of Things Seen and Unseen and Practicing Resurrection, and Barbara Brown Taylor, author of Leaving Church, are the guides for the week. Sponsored by the Louisville Institute and funded by a Lily Grant, the workshop has gathered 20 published writers for a focus on spiritual writing. I feel privileged to have been invited and humbled by my collegues.

Several of the attendees have published multiple volumes, some in their academic field, other memoirs and journalistic pieces. The intent is to provide writer's with an opportunity to enhance the depth of their writing by being able to enact in a writer's colony setting.

The monastary is Benedictine and Anglican. The monks pray the hours, Lauds, Noon Day, Vespers and Compline, inviting their guests to join them at each worship experience. They operate the monastary as a retreat house. They grow most of their own vegetables, provide a large library, sell books and coffee.

Each day we are given large blocks of time to write. We review each others work and have consultations with our two leaders. Both offer daily sessions intended to connect us with our writing. Getting lost in one's writing is easy. This is a gift. I intend to make well use of the lessons learned.

As the week proceeds I will post some of the comments and ideas that Gallagher and Brown are sharing with us.

Hope & The Dixie Chicks

The latest issue of Tikkun arrived today. I really enjoy this magazine. The cover states, "Hope is Back! Democratic victories in Congress give Spiritual Progressives a powerful opportunity to influence public discourse in the next two years." This is the title of editor Michael Lerner's lead article. It's great stuff and worth the time to read.

But, in this season of hope, the season of Advent. What really gives me hope is the Grammy nominations. Oh, you say, you must have really gone nuts. Why in the world would any of us have any interest in the Grammy's? Well, The Dixie Chicks have 4 nominations; Record of the Year, Not Ready to Make Nice, Album of the Year, Taking the Long Way, Song of the Year, Not Ready to Make Nice, and County Album, Taking the Long Way.

You remember the Chicks don't you? At the beginning of the invasion of Iraq, outspoken lead singer, Natalie Maines, made the remark at a concert in London that she was ashamed that President Bush is from her home State of Texas.

Immediately, their number one hit dropped off the charts. Country stations quit playing their music. Maines life was threatened. She received a death threat for a concert in Dallas. Police took the threat serious enough that they tried to talk her into cancelling the concert. She wouldn't do that so they at least convinced her to wear a bullet proof vest.

In a documentary film about the struggle that followed, Shut up & Sing, one man is filmed saying, "Yes, I believe in freedom of speech, but not in public."

What in the world?

A few weeks ago the Chicks came to the Phoenix area and my wife just had to go. It was awesome. There were some estimates that the arena would be half empty. Never mind that, it was nearly full. And the Chicks were just incredible. They sang full volume with deep intensity for two full hours. Everyone got their monies worth. It looked to me that they have more new fans than old country ones.

That may have to do with their new Southern country rock approach - or could have something to do with that people in America actually do believe in free speech. Whatever the case. Real hope lies in the possibility that the Chicks could win Country Album of the Year for an Album that still gets zero play from Country stations. I guess Country fans don't believe in free speech - oh yea, only if it's not in public.

I intend to watch the Grammy's with honest interest.

While I really like Michael Lerner, and I understand and mostly agree with what he writes in his article - I would suggest though that hope was never gone - we just didn't have the courage to activate it in our own lives.

Hope allows us to be prophetic, to speak our own mind and to take the risks whether intended or otherwise. Hope involves risk - not certainty - or even possibility - hope is to step into the dark and trust that maybe, change can and will happen.

Keep singing.

Does God(?) want me to be rich?

Time magazine offered an article entitled "Does God want you to be rich?"(http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1533448,00.html) The article explores the prosperity theology of some prominent Evangelical pastors and their churches. This theology offers that God intends for you to be blessed, meaning, having more than all your needs being met; that can include the best job, house, car, boat, investment portfolio and on and on. From the perspective of prosperity theology, God does indeed intend for you, if living the righteous life, to have all that this world, especially in America, has to offer.

In our Peregrini discussion there was quite a bit of conversation around the "goods" and "evils" of money. How you get it and what you do with it. All of this never got at the basic question, "what does God intend for you?"

That question encompasses far more than money. It gets at the core of how can I actually know what God wants for me; if God wants me to be rich, how do I know that for sure?

The Time article pointed out that on both sides of the discussion (yes, God wants me to be rich, or no, God wants what is good for me which is a much different argument) "use" the Bible to prove their point (proof texting). How can I know God's certainty for me when it seems that with the right "slant" the Bibles writers could be interpreted as saying anything? Good question.
At the root of the question regarding whether God wants you to have wealth is the notion of transactional theology. That theology suggests that if I, as a believer, do what I am supposed to do (live the righteous life) then God will reward me with the good things of life.

The troubling part of that kind of theology is, first, it sounds a lot like American Santa Claus and second, so what about when bad things happen to good people? There is no answer to that question, but, do I really believe in a God like that? For me, no. God is much bigger than all that. God is in the mystery and the unseen.

Does God want me to be rich? I think the better question is, "Does God care given all the pain, suffering and poor in the world?" Maybe those are the things I should be focusing on as well?

God? Again?

"Every (Christian) is committed and alienated; (they) are always in faith and in doubt; (they) are inside and outside the theological circle. Sometimes one side prevails, sometimes the other; and (they) are never certain which side really prevails....Whether this is true does not depend on (their) intellectual or moral or emotional state; it does not depend on the intensity and certitude of faith; it does not depend on the power of regeneration or the grade of sanctification. Rather it depends on being ultimately concerned with the Christian message even if (they) are sometimes inclined to attack and reject it." Paul Tillich

At our last Peregrini we dove head long into an intense discussion regarding God. It became a very personal exploration of the possibility of experience. Personal stories told all around of hearing in different ways the unseen God. It appeared that most of the stories were about seeing the unseen God in the people that are all around us, everyday, especially the poor and the powerless.

Joan Chittister wrote, "....Why so much attention to the human? (It) is because in the human is the only place we can really be sure that God is. It is so easy to love the God we do not see but it is so much more sanctifying to serve the God we learn to see in others....We empty ourselves out so that the presence of God can come in, tangible and present and divinely human."

The questions keep coming and the certainty is illusive. For most, certainty is not a desired goal or even a remote possibility. Certainty seems to offer only arrogance. The more solid the certainty and confidence of absolute assurance maybe the more deep seated the fear in the existence of the certain one?

The writer of the New Testament book of James offers this, "the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace for those who seek peace."

This questioning of God, for the Peregrini traveler, is something of an inner journey, one that seeks peace and gentleness. And it is a journey that we recognize we can venture alone. We need community. We must walk together. It is in each of you, sisters and brothers, that I personally see and know the unseen God. Certainty? Only in the faces of your souls.

God?

God? The original Peregrini question. So, we felt the need to return. Not in circular fashion, just a re-visiting; an intentional path on the pilgrimage. Like going to see an old friend.

Such a serious question drew quite a gathering. The evening was pondering and at times heavy.

Sam Harris, author of The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason, was interviewed in the most recent issue of The Sun. "Even if you had a detailed story about the essential purpose religion has served for the past fifty thousand years, even if you could prove that humanity would not have survived without believing in a creator God, that would not mean that it's a good idea to believe in a creator God now, in a twenty-first-century world that has been shattered into seperate moral communities on the basis of religious ideas....I can even be more inflammatory than that. If I could wave a magic wand and get rid of either rape or religion, I would not hesitate to get rid of religion. I think more people are dying as a result of our religious myths than as a result of any other ideology."

This quote shaped the conversation around the question, "Do you believe in a creator God?" or, "Do you need a creator God?"

Consensus was impossible nor was it necessary.

The conversation had such a wide range of approach, feel and intellectual context for us as individuals and some corporately. So much so, that we are going to attempt to approach this ground again next week - September 21 7:00 pm at Fair Trade Cafe. All are welcome.

Community of Prayer

As a community we often talk about the idea of being an open or neo-monastic community. The beginnings of these ideas are posted in a sermon at www.staugustinestempe.blogspot.com. If you have a few minutes check it out and let me know what you think about the praying community. More to come about St. Brigid's Community and it's monastic approach.

Sermons?

A very few of you who read my blog, actually only one of you, has asked about the sermons that I offer at St. Augustine's Tempe on Sunday mornings.

The sermons are at www.staugustinestempe.blogspot.com. Thanks for asking.

Peregrini activities and information is at www.ecmasu.org.

Our next meeting is August 17, 7:00 pm at Fair Trade Cafe in downtown Phoenix. The topic is "God? In a cease fire?" discussing the current situation is the Middle East. Hope to see you there.

God? In the Middle East?

Peregrini gathered around the table for a meal. Community is so important to us and nothing brings us together like good food. We never lack for good hearted conversation with lots of stories around the table.

But, on this night, as the question was offered, a pained silence covered our souls like heavy black clouds preparing to unleash a nasty storm. "Where is God in the Middle East?" The war in Iraq, the war in Lebanon, Iran gathering nuclear strength, the entire region is in violent turmoil. Peace is no where on the horizon. Where is God in all this mess?

Gil C. had spent a college year at Jerusalem University and has a sense of the issues surrounding the conflict. Surani had just returned from Sri Lanka, though she said it was nothing like what she sees in the Middle East, it was still frightening. Most of all sitting around the table have friends who have been or are in Iraq right now. War and conflict are fresh on our minds. Where is God in the Middle East?

The question is impossibly hard. The situation in the Middle East may be as complex as any global entanglement has ever been. Religious strife, histories of violence, economies at risk, lives endangered, survival is perilous at best; there seems to be no solutions, the possibility for peace is not imaginable. Where is God in the Middle East?

For the evening, our hearts broke with compassion for those caught in the middle of massive destruction and lives ruined. The innocent are no more. Death tolls confound us and threaten to make us numb. Maybe that's where God is - keeping us from being numb so that we continue to struggle on behalf of those who apparently are just "collateral damage" in a wave of endless despair?

All the Peregrini travelers could offer was prayer.

Make your own damn sandwiches

A very good friend of mine went on a holiday to another city. He stayed iin that city with a friend. His friend got up early every morning, went to the grocery and bought two loaves of bread and enough peanut butter and jelly to make sandwiches. When he had made the sandwiches he went to a nearby bridge where several homeless men where living. Every day he distributed the sandwiches and returned home.

After returning from his holiday, my friend was so moved by the sandwich maker that he sent him a check for $100 with an attached note that said, "This is to help out with your wonderful ministry of making sandwiches." A few weeks later, my friend got a letter from the sandwich maker. Enclosed in the envelope was the original check and this note attached to it, "Make your own damn sandwiches."

The lectionary texts for Sunday July 23rd are interconnected. Isaiah 57:14-21 offers peace for the near and far – only - if the Household of God has a humble and contrite heart. The writer of Ephesians states in 2:11-22 that the Household of God is to be one of unity and peace. And in the subversive gospel of Mark 6:39-44, we hear of Jesus feeding a huge crowd of no less than 5,000 with a meager lunch of five loaves of bread and few small fish. So you ask – how are these texts related?

Martin Luther King, Jr. said “All life is interrelated…tied in(to) a single garment of destiny, whatever affects me…affects all….I can never be what I ought to be - until you are what you ought to be - and you can never be what you ought to be - until I am what I ought to be.”

What we have in God’s Word is a radical re-visioning of our religion. This radical vision is called the Household of God – the family of God – a family that is interconnected with the global community.

In the Household of God we are: Working for peace for the near and the far by having a humble and contrite heart. In the Household of God we are: Working with God to create a global unity. In the Household of God: We are sharing our meager lunch which makes us the bread of Jesus.

This re-visioning will bring about the end of slavery, the end of racism, the establishment of civil rights, where freedom is empowered, where compassion is implemented, justice advanced, where human rights are defended and peace made.

According to Isaiah peace will only be achieved when the people of the Household of God have a humble and contrite heart. Do we have a humble and contrite heart? Does our Church offer forgiveness before condemnation? Does the world see our nation as gracious?

In Ephesians the Household of God is part of the global community - working for the common good of all – “no longer strangers and aliens but citizens with all the saints in the household of God.” Do we act as if we are no longer strangers and aliens? Does our Church treat others as saints? Does the nation we live in act as if we are global citizens?

In the Gospel Mark a new economic order is presented; an economy which is based on the simplicity of sharing. Are we sharing? Does our Church share? Does our nation share?

The Word of God is a subversive document which presents an “alternative to the existing societal structure” – which is in stark “contrast to the current exploitative economics of our existing systems.” (quoted from Engaging the New Testament by Russell Pregeant)

What caught most of the attention from the recent Episcopal General Convention was the election of a woman as Presiding Bishop and the Episcopal Churches’ response to the World Wide Anglican Communion and the Windsor Report. However, as Presiding Bishop-elect Katherine Jefferts Schori has pointed out, the “biggest news” and the most important action of the Episcopal Church is its commitment to endorse and financially support the United Nations 8 Millennium Goals.
1. Eradicate extreme poverty and hunger.
2. Achieve universal primary education.
3. Promote gender equality and empower women.
4. Reduce child mortality.
5. Improve maternal health.
6. Combat HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases.
7. Ensure environmental stability.
8. Develop partnerships for development.

Michael Lerner (the editor of Tikkun) in, The Left Hand of God: Taking Back Our Country from the Religious Right, writes “(Our) spiritual consciousness….(should) be one that links us to the unity of all being and insists upon our interconnectedness with all others.” When we see ourselves connected to the entire world, then, as Christians, we will take up the vision of sharing what we have to help our fellow global saints. This is the key to the accomplishment of the Millennium Goals – we, the Christian community of the wealthiest nation in the world must share our resources in a significant and sacrificial way. And we as Christian people must lead in that example and only support those with a similar theology.

But it seems almost impossible to focus on these critical issues that encompass the survival of the entire human race when, as a “Christian nation” our minds are consumed with a war that has been created out of fear.

If the Church - the Household of God has ever had the responsibility to step up with a radical re-visioning of our Country’s engagement with the world – it is now.

Peace will never be achieved by using pre-emptive strikes or by condoning retaliatory violence.

Peace will only be achieved by seeing ourselves as global citizens of unity and by radical sharing. While it may not make sense in our world of complex social, political and religious systems – it is the Way of Jesus; to share and to turn the other cheek.

To lead in peace means to be leaders in achieving the Millennium Goals – all of which will require us to put others first – in other words, to share our resources with the world.

What if, in the first one hundred days of the Iraqi war the US, instead of delivering shock and awe, delivered $100,000 to every person living in Baghdad and asked them to overthrow Saddam and his oppressive regime? The $100.000 for every man, woman and child is the equivalent of the money spent on bombs in the first one hundred days of the war in Iraq. To use a Godly Play term – I wonder.

Now, though, when Israel retaliates with unreasonable force, all we can say is, “every nation has the right to protect her borders.” We can not lead in peace if we are the leaders in war and violence. It’s bad theology if we believe “God will bless America” with this strategy.
To quote Jim Wallis the author of God’s Politics: Why the Right gets it Wrong and the Left Doesn’t Get It, “It may be that only theology and spirituality can save the poor and the victims of war.” Jesus has that different theology to teach us. A good theology.

In the feeding of the 5,000, Jesus took a small meager lunch and turned it into a banquet feast. One person sacrificed their lunch for the common good. Jesus’ new economic model is one of sharing what we have for the common good all – that includes our enemies. I can only imagine that Jesus fed not only his friends but also those around him who were plotting to take his life.

Let me offer an example from Lerner’s book. Today, this very day, between 20,000 and 30,000 children will die of starvation and diseases related to malnutrition.

Imagine that you have a family with 5 children. One child has 40 percent of the family’s resources, a second child has 32 percent, the third child 20 percent, the fourth child is struggling with only 6 percent of the family’s resources and the fifth child is dying of starvation with 2 percent of the families resources.

Let me ask you one simple question, what would you do in this situation?

Is the reason the US doesn’t operate out of a theology of sharing is that we don’t consider the less fortunate children of the world as part of our family? Why is it so difficult to share? Why do we respond to violence with more violence? When instead, Jesus calls us to respond to violence with grace, mercy and food? What if, instead of spending money on war, we spent it on eradicating poverty? I wonder.

As followers of Jesus and the Household of God, we are called to be a people of a radical new alternative; a radical economics, a radical social structure, a radical politics and radical personal behavior.

As Christians we believe in a God who using us, the Household God, as food for the world. We believe in a God who is ever luring us and the world towards the common good. We, as Christians, are God’s loaves of bread – fed into the world to bring about peace. We believe in a God who has called his Household to be about the business of changing the souls of our human institutions: changing the souls of those institutions to care about the common good and to share our resources with the world. We believe in a God who calls each of us to be family members in the Household by promoting peace through envisioning ourselves as global citizens and by sharing our meager lunch.

Maybe we better get busy making our own damn sandwiches and start feeding them to a world hiding under a bridge?

What do you think?

Hope not fear

My sister Dinah has Prader-Willi Syndrome; the deformity of chromosome-15. Prader-Willi is random, it's not passed down through the genes or caused by any known factor - it just happens. Basically, my sister is mentally and physically handicapped. She is challenged is so many different ways, yet, she has always been a beacon of light for all those she encounters. Due mainly to my parents love and diligence, Dinah is the oldest known living Prader-Willi; she is 51. The person who lived the longest was 63. Most Prader-Willi's die in their 20 or 30's due to obesity and uncontrollable anger outbursts. My parents and those who work closely with Dinah have managed her weight quite well. The anger outbursts are something that happens - but, with Dinah some medications have been effective in mitigating their frequency.

Dinah has lived at home until her mid-thirties. At that point my parents decided that for Dinah's continued growth and development that she needed to be an environment outside of home. They researched and searched out several possibilities. The first group home worked well with Dinah for a while, but as Dinah has grown older it has become apparent that the smaller the number living in the home, the better she can function.

With more research my parents found a "Christian home." First warning sign was the "Christian label." It wasn't long before Dinah had an anger outburst. The couple that managed the group home didn't handle the episode too well. My parents and I were summoned to meet with the management team.

Quickly into the meeting the Christian couple who managed the home began telling us that if we would only pray harder and with more fervency that Dinah would be healed of being Prader-Willi. Honestly, I didn't handle their presumptions too well myself. It wasn't long before my parents moved Dinah into another more suitable place where she now resides most comfortably and happily.

I don't believe in a Santa Claus God. While it would be much easier to believe in a God who went around looking for all who was naughty and all who was nice to dispense either punishment or gifts, I don't find that God in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

In the gospel of Mark (5:22-24, 35-43) Jesus tells the father of a dying girl "Do not fear, only believe." Jesus' admonition about fear speaks volumes about the very heart of God. The Presence of God brings hope. Yet, more often than not, we act out of fear.

There is a powerful tendency inside all of us towards fear. We fear sickness, injury, death, change, the enemy, and the unknown. Michael Lerner in The Left Hand of God, writes "When our consciousness moves (toward fear) we believe that the Other is a serious threat that needs to be dominated and controlled before it does likewise to us." Jesus if offering hope as an alternative to fear. Jesus is summoning us to move out of the paradigm of fear into the prospects of hope.

Jesus goes to the home of the 12 year old girl. Everyone there is grieving her death. But, Jesus says, "She's not dead, she's only sleeping." Where some see death, Jesus sees hope. Well, that brought mocking laughter from all the mourners. They feared death so much they could not see the hope of the Presence of God.

Ignoring their ridicule, Jesus took three of his young disciples into the girl's room. There Jesus spoke the powerful words of hope, "get up." Jesus saw hope in the mystery of the unseen. While no one else could see hope, Jesus offered the Presence of God for healing.

I wonder what would happen if we responded to the Other with hope instead of fear? In our country today we are operating out of fear not hope. What if we offered hope for our enemies instead of reacting out of fear? Without hope there will be no healing.

In the Episcopal Church this very minute we are living our lives in fear. The fear of change and the fear of not changing. But, what if, instead of working from a place of fear we moved to a place of the hope of healing found in the Presence of God. Would we, like Jesus, see hope instead of death?

I once asked my mother if she could change Dinah into a "normal" person, would she? First, my mom corrected me in that Dinah was probably more normal than any of the rest of us. Then she told me, no, she wouldn't. "Dinah is a gift and we see life differently through her eyes than we ever could any other way."

God isn't Santa Claus. God is the Presence of Jesus seen in each of us offering the hope of healing. Healing hunger, healing hatred, healing the fear that breeds greed, healing that crosses the divide in theology and the healing that allows us to hear the words of Jesus, "you're not dead, get up."

From pride to frustration

With the election of the Rt. Rev. Katharine Jefferts Schori as Presiding Bishop-elect I was overcome with pride and joy for the Episcopal Church. To elect the first woman Presiding Bishop took courage. It was the right thing to do because she was the best candidate and the best person for the job. The Bishop of Arizona, the Rt. Rev. Kirk Stevan Smith, had stated on several occasions prior to the election that she was the best candidate. (See his blog comments at www.episcopal-az.org). Electing the right person for the right time is the best possible action.

The following day the House of Deputies rejected a resolution which would have called for a moratorium and ban on the election of future gay and lesbian bishops. They voted their heart and conscience. It was another day for celebration. The House of Deputies voted with courage. It was the right thing to do.

Then - the next day, Presiding Bishop Frank Griswold called the House of Bishops and the House of Deputies into a special session. At that time the two houses agreed to ask that the election of "any candidate to the episcopate whose manner of life presents a challenge to the wider Church," be resisted. That tarnished my pride and causes frustration.

How can the Episcopal Church be open and inclusive, "sort of"? It is either open to all or not. It can't offer selective inclusion. Those who have the opportunity to reside in power are the people who are fully included. If the position of bishop is not available to gay and lesbian clergy (or any person or group), then gay and lesbian clergy are not fully included in the full circle of the Church.

Even when the Church passes a resolution which states that gay and lesbians are "children of God who have a full and equal claim with all other persons upon the love, acceptance, and pastoral concern and care of the Church," they might doubt it given their limited access to every level of the Church.

Yes, it is complicated when it comes to remaining in full communion with the World Wide Anglican Communion. (See the Rt. Rev. Peter Akinola's open letter to Episcopal Church www.anglicancommunion.org/). And it continues to be a major strain to keep the Episcopal Church USA intact when the Diocese of Fort Worth is seeking to leave the Episcopal Church.
It is complicated, confusing, frustrating and painful. That is understood. But, the question is, who is fully included at the table?

I strongly recommend you check out the Rev. Kate Bradley's blog www.fatherkate.typepad.com and this article in The Witness http://www.thewitness.org/article.php?id=1098. Both give powerful insight and call for strong action within the Episcopal Church. Both call for us to be courageous and stand together as sisters and brothers in the name of Jesus Christ.

It seems to me that now is the time more than ever for us to stand up and be the witness of the inclusive gospel of Jesus Christ. To preach that gospel from the pulpit and to call for action that truly speaks to the inclusion of all at the table.

As the Episcopal Chaplain at Arizona State University, the priest for St. Brigid's Community and one of the conveners of Peregrini, I want to be able to offer the Episcopal Church as a place where all who come are fully welcome and have all the rights, privileges and opportunities that are afforded to everyone else. I want to with a clear conscience offer to any gay or lesbian young adult who is considering vocations or seeking support from me as a priest in any way to know that they will be loved, included and encouraged in every way possible by the Church. They have that love, encouragement and support from me - I want them to have from the Church as well.

I will not stop preaching the inclusive gospel of Jesus Christ and I know that the Church is full of equally minded people who will not stop preaching that gospel either. Jesus Christ calls us to be witnesses of the gospel of love; to love God and to love my neighbor as myself - all my neighbors with all myself.

Proud to be an Episcopalian

Today I am so proud to be an Episcopalian!

The Episcopal Church USA elected the Rt. Rev. Katharine Jefferts Schori to be its 26th Presiding Bishop. She is the first woman elected to be the leader of the Episcopal Church as well as the first woman to lead any of the Provinces of the World Wide Anglican Church. She will be consecrated as Presiding Bishop in November at the National Cathedral.

This is a great day not only for the Episcopal Church but for the Christian community as a whole.

At a press conference and in interviews following Sunday's election, the Presiding Bishop-elect spoke with eloquence, compassion, humility and conviction as she answered challenging and forthright questions about the future of the Episcopal Church and its relationship with the Anglican Communion. Only two other provinces, New Zealand and Canada, have women Bishops though some allow women to serve in that position. Her election will be considered by some as a continued affront to the more conservative members of the Church. As quoted in a story by the Associated Press The Rev. Canon Chris Sugden, a leader of the Anglican Mainstream, a Church of England conservative group, said that her election "shows that the Episcopal leadership is going to do what they want to do regardless of what it means to the rest of the communion."

To those questions the Bishop-elect said that she believed that relationships are the most important component of reconciliation. She cited an example of being the lead scientist on a research vessel early in her career. The captain refused to speak to her because she is a woman. Jefferts Schori stated, "that lasted about 15 minutes and then he got over it. I think when we get to know one another we can work together."Her experience as an oceanographer and scientist, she said, has prepared her to be "open" and approach every circumstance with a "let's learn" about what "new adventure" we are on.

The Bishop-elect stressed the Millennium Development Goals as a priority. She constantly referred to the reign of God as being a place for the marginalized. She insists that the reign of God must focus on feeding the poor, working for health care for all and protecting the welfare of all children.

Jefferts Schori voted for the consecration of the Bishop Gene Robinson. When questioned about her support of Bishop Robinson and her views of gay and lesbian clergy she said, "God welcomes all to His table which includes a variety of theologies and opinions." She encouraged that those who disagree be willing to continue to stay in relationship and remain at the Eucharistic table.

Personally, I find this startling news to be so very encouraging and uplifting. This is powerful statement that the House of Bishops and the House of Deputies have made for and about the Episcopal Church. On a Sunday afternoon in Columbus, Ohio, they were able to speak for the inclusion of all of God's creation. For words of inclusion without the opportunity to be in position of power is just weak and worthless rhetoric. But, the Episcopal Church has once again proven that indeed the reign of God is alive and well.

No matter your position on this issue and any of the other hot topics being discussed at the General Convention of the Episcopal Church, I might ask that you do offer prayers for the Bishop-elect, the Episcopal Church and World Wide Communion.

The prayer of St. Francis: Lord, make us instruments of your peace. Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

God? Vacations?

God, can I just take a few weeks off from you? Oh, it's actually you who want to take a few weeks off from me? Oh great, now I'm in real trouble. All I wanted was just a couple of days where I wasn't always thinking about whether you are actually there or here or somewhere. And I could really use a break from trying to talk to you or pray or whatever it is that I'm doing. Just for a moment I'd like to clear my mind and be released from the wrestling that is always going on in my soul. Now I find out it's you, God, who would like a break from my two-year-old like whining temper tantrums and paradoxical clinging. That scares me to death. Do you really want a vacation from me?

The Peregrini gathering made some passes at my wandering and rambling questions. We have unique fellow travelers; Christians of wide stripes, some nothings and don't want to bes, former this and that's, a few agnostics and some admitted doubters. Each in their own space. While the group rarely comes to consensus, this was one of those odd nights.

It seems that we can not get away from ourselves. To quote an Irish saying, "Wherever you go there you'll be." Life is a fabric, a woven tapestry, of which, to pull out some thread is at least dangerous, if not unwarranted. And to put it back into its place, well, that ridiculously impossible. While we can weave new threads into our life, temporarily withdrawing colorful pieces or bland lines, can only create a weakening and unraveling of the art of our life. If God is an intricate part of my life, maybe even the weaver or the loom itself, how could I extract myself from what is myself? Not possible.

As for God's taking leave? Well, we are promised that God will never leave us or forsake us. We trust that is the case. True, I'm pretty sure God gets real sick of my childish antics - but, we're supposed to have childlike faith; right? Ok, I know about the need to stop drinking the babies milk and start eating the meat of adulthood (well, at least good protein of some kind for vegetarians) - time to grow up. Well, sort of.

It is time to recognize that taking time off from God is no more possible than taking time off from the essence of myself. God, ever Present and constantly moving in the grace of the mystery of life, faith, struggle and the evolution of personhood.

Peregrini has formed community that exists beyond itself. It continues to grow, develop, change, re-invent itself and acknowledge new personalities. The chemistry of the experience is no other way explainable than it is a God-thing. Thank you to all pilgrims for your participation, support, interest and thoughts. Join us when you can on the first and third Thursdays of each month at 7:00 pm at the Fair Trade Cafe in Phoenix, Arizona - on Central and Roosevelt just behind Trinity Cathedral. All are welcome and every question is possible; just don't expect any answers - even though sometimes they do arrive.

Summer Reading

Reading in incredibly enjoyable for me. I spend a lot of time reading; so much to read and so little time left. That being the case, I am careful what I spend my time reading. And extremely careful what I recommend. It has also been important for me that if I'm not finding the book meaningful to give myself permission to stop reading it.

My spiritual director asks me every time we get together what I'm reading. At first I thought he was just curious. Then I realized how what I read is such an open window into my soul.

Because of the opportunity to take vacations and maybe get a little down time, the summer is a great space to catch up on reading. While it might be presumptuous of me to make some recommendations for your reading, I will be so bold as to make an offering of some recent books I've read that have been worth the time.

As a follow up to the recent book study at the Cathedral and Lenten conversation "Resurrection? So What?" two possibilities are Resurrection by the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams and The Resurrection of Jesus: John Dominic Crossan and N.T. Wright in Dialogue edited by Robert Stewart.

Rebecca McClain suggested I read The Practicing Congregation: Imagining a New Old Church by Diana Butler Bass. This book has been a good resource for me as I have been dreaming what St. Brigid's Community at ASU is going to look like.

Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why written by Bart Ehrman was recommended to me Kerry Neuhardt, Priest-in-charge of St. James in Tempe. I read that book parallel with Brian McLaren's The Secret Message of Jesus: Uncovering the Truth That Could Change Everything. While Ehrman's book is more academic it does explore the early history of Bible's transcription and the process of "editing." McLaren's book is from an evangelical perspective trying to lean into something more open. His Generous Orthodoxy has some value in providing a voice for trying to figure out "where my theology fits in all this world of religious pluralism?"

Anything Anne Lamont writes is good. Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith isn't her best but I would re-read it given time. She makes me laugh and cry in the same sentence. She also assuages my guilt for some of my more colorful metaphors.

For all those considering vocation in the priesthood On Being a Priest Today by Rosalind Brown and Christopher Cocksworth is a musical and poetic understanding of what it means to walk the pilgrimage path of being a priest for others.

Veronica encouraged me to add fiction reading to my spiritual practices. John Banville's The Sea won Ireland's "Man Booker Prize." It's a story of a man returning home and there he discovers his soul that he left behind. Joanne Harris wrote Chocolat. If you enjoyed that piece you will find this story of a seventeenth century woman fascinating and enlightening as well as intriguing. My daughter Alicia gave me a copy of Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes. It's a unique tale, all things Coelho, of a young woman who is on life's pilgrimage that takes her in some places she never wanted to go but finds through some experiences, her purpose in life.

Well, I've got a big stack of books to read for the summer. Better get busy.

God? In the Bible?

Peregrini gatherings are enlightening, challenging and often a little rough. The questioning of God in the Bible evoked all kinds of ideas and emotions. The challenge of the conversation was in every way invigorating and was not disappointing in the least. As is always possible, a God moment appeared in the midst of the evening. It almost went unnoticed, as maybe should be the case.

Lori was our cook for the evening. She made this fascinating and wonderful dish she calls "dirty rice." Trust me, it tastes a lot better than it sounds. We had salad, fruit, garlic bread, chocolate chips cookies and of course, wine. It was quite the feast. We always seem to have more that enough food to feed the hungry pilgrims.

Deep into the evening's conversation, Lori got up and slipped to the door of our downtown coffee shop. She had noticed one of the young homeless men who we often see near the shop. As quiet as an angel she invited him in and with her warm smile prepared him two heaping plates. He went on his way and she returned to her place around the table without saying a word. I'm not sure who else noticed; it seemed so natural. Lori was being the very Presence of God; for the hungry pilgrim and for us as well.

Discussing God seems to always unfold the mystery in our midst. Talking about the Bible, however, for some reason, evokes the theological trail to be followed. Our question for the evening had to be narrowed to "can you find God in the Bible, and if so, how?" So many passionate gifts of insight were offered by our band of pilgrims. Here is some kind of collection of our thoughts.

The Bible is story and narrative. It is a living text. Brought to life by the openness and the processing of God; in our lives and God's experience. The vivid stories (and our wild interpretations of them) of Abraham and Moses and their encounters with the living and dynamic God brought a lot of laughter and questions to the table.

Jesus' as a Jewish rabbi understood the text through his own worldview. His critique and context informs ours. Yet, God continues to speak to us in and through the word of the Bible in a way that is fresh and meaningful for our times. A biblically guided life can constantly be relevant yet connected to the ancient world in a uniquely invigorating manner.

The Story is sacred and authoritative. It contains all things for salvation. Yet, we still are drawn into conversation with it; to challenge and seek out all the possibilities of meaning from within this living text. We can ask questions of the writers of each text. Who were they and why did they write these words are questions that help to educate us as we struggle to find the bridge from their time to ours.

We find ourselves touched by the stories of women and men through the scripture. Our lives are moved through and with the pain of the Psalter. Daily we grapple with the lectionary text. Confronted by words that make us laugh, cry, get mad and often confuse us; still yet, we come back again and again, day after day, seeking the face and mind of God. What is here in this ancient manuscript? We ache to know.

Genuinely, we know that we don't hold the "right and only" view of the Bible. It is clear we don't reflect a literalist or fundamentalistic construct of the Bible. We are not the spokes persons for the conservative church, nor do we want to be. No one would confuse our band of pilgrims with being on the "right" side of much. But, without the eye, hand and foot of the church, we are not the complete body. The Bible is the sacred text that the band of Peregrini look to and it is also the sacred text of the conservative church. If we are to be followers of Jesus we have no other choice than to recognize and respect our fundamentalist brothers and sisters. As well, we must honor the sacred text as they understand it. They have a lot to teach us and we seek to listen and learn, though at times it is a great strain.

To engage with God and to be spiritually formed by God, we have few other options than to engage the sacred text. The Story beckons us to read, study and inwardly digest the meat and marrow of the lives on the pages of the Bible. God whispers and we lean into the narrative trying to find our own place among the pictures painted for us by Ruth, Esther, Isaiah (all three of them) Amos, John, Peter, Mary (all three of them), Paul and Jesus.

The stories are alluring and we spend the time to discover their meaning. Personally, we crave to hear. But, we know that our true learning is done in community. For without community we could find ourselves in a blind gully on the trail. Worse yet, we could do the unthinkable and wind up "creating God in our own image (swearing and all)." Scripture is understood with reason and tradition of which we are obligated to contribute. Yes, we are part of the past for the future.

Do we all need to stop now and go to seminary. God save us all - NO! We are called to live our experience in who we are and how we hear and to share that with our fellow travelers. Some times we are even needed to pick up the pack of our weary companion as we walk up the steep hills of the mount on which God will speak to us. And, we must recognize the need to lay ourselves down and rest in the field of the Good Shepherd. We are pilgrims traveling together.

All this rhetoric is just that unless we can be aware and be present to those who need a meal. Thank you Lori for providing action to our questions. You embodied the living text in a sacred way.

The next Peregrini is June 15 at Fair Trade Cafe in downtown Phoenix.

Why I bought a Dixie Chicks CD on Memorial Day

Memorial Day is a day to remember all those who have made sacrifices for this country. I remember my uncle who gave his life in the service of country. I remember family members who have served in World War I, II, Korea, Vietnam, Desert Storm and Iraq. All have made great sacrifices for their country. Those sacrifices were made for a variety of reasons and I honor those reasons and those who gave so much. I also remember a very special friend who is currently in Iraq (for his second tour) and I remember those others that I know - and I pray for them daily.

On Memorial Day the President of the United States standing before the Tomb of the Unknowns, stated that the nation can best honor the dead by "defeating terrorists....and laying the foundation for a generation of peace."

How does war bring peace? How does more killing honor the lives of those who have died? The world has been at war throughout history. No war has brought definitive peace to any generation much less the next generation. What chance has this war to bring peace more than any other war of history?

Maybe the best way to honor the sacrifice of those who have lost their lives in war is to find a better way to bring peace - a peace that will last - a peace that will be meaningful for generations to come; a solution that will replace killing.

On the eve of the Iraq invasion, Natalie Maines, lead singer for the Dixie Chicks, told a London audience that the Chicks were ashamed that President Bush was from their home State of Texas. The Chicks spoke out against the invasion of Iraq. Their fans and the country music industry responded like fans have the right to do - they reacted by not buying the Dixie Chicks CDs or playing their music on the radio. Some fans, however, decided to do what they do not have the right to do and that was to threaten the lives of these three young women.

The Dixie Chicks risked their careers for saying what they believe. Their risk was great. It cost them a huge fan base. Just last week they released their new CD with the anapologetic song Not Ready to Make Nice. The first CD since 2003. In the first week of play country fans have again responded with rejection which further questions their future careers.

It's one thing to speak out against the war when you know those who listen will agree with you like Bruce Springsteen or Neil Young; it's quite another to have the courage to risk your career when you know for sure your fans don't agree.

I wonder if that's why our churches are not speaking out against the war, this war or any war? Is the church afraid that it fans, those in the pews who pay the preachers salary, will stop buying what the church is selling if they speak the word of peace and pacifism?

It is impossible to justify war using the words of Jesus Christ. To be a follower of Jesus Christ is to promote peace and forgiveness. To attempt to be a disciple of Jesus Christ is to strive to find a better way to solve global problems other than by killing one another.

So, to honor my family who has served this country and to honor my friends currently serving in Iraq and to pray to be a follower of Christ I am inspired by the Dixie Chicks and resolve to speak out often and loudly against this war and any other; seeking to find solutions that will bring lasting peace. And I started by buying the Chicks new CD on Memorial Day and I'm going to their concert here in Phoenix. Peace will come at a price but that price should not include a commitment to the shedding of wartime blood. Jesus' life was offered so that we might have peace.

Check out Leanard Pitts, Tribune Media Services, Chicks spoke up, and their voices filled a void, in the May 30 Arizona Republic, "Opinions."

What's in a name?

Kansas U. Softball shortstop is Destiny Frankenstein. That's her real name. She said she doesn't use her name at restaurants because people don't believe that's her name. Our name can effect our behavior.

When I was born, my dad's favorite baseball team was the Brooklyn Dodgers and he named me after their firstbase man Gil Hodges. I went on to play five years of minor league baseball and I coached college baseball for 20 years. A name can set a course for our life.

I wonder now, what name would people give me? Conservative, moderate, liberal, post-liberal, post-modern, post-Christian, leftist, rightist, fundamentalist, literalist, environmentalists, feminist, separatist, isolationist, nativist, hawk, dove, gay, straight, orthodox, heretic, evangelical, low church, high church, broad church, Christian? What's in a name?

The first people to be called Christian lived in Antioch, 300 miles north of Jerusalem. It was in the earliest days of the new found sect. Followers of Jesus defined themselves as followers of the Way. It was their critics who first called them Christians; more as a term of derision and to probably to set them apart from other Jewish sects of the day. But, there must have been something different about those early Christians to warrant a special nickname.

Those Christians were followers of Jesus. The Jesus who taught his followers to love one another as he had loved them. Sounds pretty tame? But, his message got him crucified. His message of love must have been threatening and dangerous.

Love becomes dangerous when it is more than words. Doing love is dangerous.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer taught that Christian love means to encounter the love of God in everyone met and to be God for that person. In other words, to meet the very presence of God in the other and to be the very presence of God for the other. Bonhoeffer was preaching a "religionless Christianity." A kind of Christianity that is only concerned with the needs of the person that I am being confronted by each day; not the dogma or teachings of religion.

In preparing to become a priest I took Clinical Pastoral Education from Banner Thunderbird Hospital. The Director of Spiritual Care of BTH is Ss. Sat Kartar Kalsey Ramey. She is one of the few women in the world who is ordained Sikh.

Sat Kartar taught me that in order to really be present to the patients in the hospital I had to realize that I am not the Lone Ranger. First, she said, I had to be present to myself. Second, I had to be honest with who I am as a Christian so that I might be present to God. And then and only then could I be present to the patients. It would take me being a Christian and she being Sikh and the other Chaplains being present to God in their tradition for us as a team to be effectively present to the patients in the hospital. It has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with being present to God.

Being truly present to someone who is in need is difficult. That person doesn't need my theology and religion; they simply need me to be present for them.

So, I ask myself when I with someone:

Am I really present?
Do I see God in them?
Am I being in the place of God for them?
Is my love dangerous enough that others might call me a Christian?

God? Are you here?

This entry is dedicated to Justin who tragically lost his life as a victim of a hit-run accident while riding his bicycle.

The Peregrini group gathered around the table for a great meal of falafels, lentil and pita prepared by Justin's best friend Tyler. Tyler's grief process included cooking for his friends. We are grateful that he shared his gifts with us.

In the pain though, we all realized that they are times when the presence of God is in question. In fact, a lot of the time we've found ourselves asking, "God? Are you here?" And we're not hearing any response. Why is that?

Why is it at the seemingly worst times in our lives we can't hear God, or feel God or recognize any tangible means of determining that God exists? Tyler lost his best friend to a needless, reckless act, by no fault of Justin. Where is God in this senseless random act? I must admit, I don't have an answer.

But, I still ache for God. I long for God to hear me and respond to me. Where do I find God's presence when I need it most?

Joan Chittister wrote, "The monastic heart in not just to be a good heart. The monastic heart is to be good for something. It is to be engaged in the great Christian enterprise of acting for others in the place of God."

So like monks who believe that the two most important things in life are good food and prayer - we gathered around good food and tried to be present for one another and especially for Tyler. As Chittister wrote, "acting for others in the place of God."

We also found ourselves being present to one another as we were honest with our stories of loneliness, abandonment, confusion, frustration and doubt. The opportunity to ask the honest questions and express real doubt somehow made it comforting and reassuring; we are not on this pilgrimage alone.

Is that good enough? Is that all there is to it? I think that's all we have.

She's walking 500 miles

Fellow pilgrims, Tamie is walking 500 miles on the Camino. She is on a literal pilgrimage. She started today. While most of us talk about the pilgrimage of life, Tamie is taking her talk on the road - a long dusty road; uphill, downhill, through the 32 days of Spain's weather.

Many of us have committed to pray daily for Tamie while she is on this soul journey. Tamie attended St. Brigid's Community service last Sunday on ASU's Tempe campus and we offered prayers and blessings for her. We will continue to pray for her each Sunday during her trek.

The Lord be with....let us pray.

"Direct Tamie, O Lord, in all her doings and with your most gracious favor, and furhter her with your continual help; this is all her works begun, continued, and ended in you, she may glorify you holy Name, and finally, by your mercy, obtain everlasting life; we also pray that you keep over Tamie with the grace of your Presence through Jesus Christ our Lord." Amen.

God? In this crazy life?

God, it seems the faster I go the more I have to do. Is this the way life is supposed to be? Deadlines, pressure to commit, expectations to perform, demands from those who think they can and intimations from those who I would hope would not - is this insanity or the way life is going to be?

Who dares to answer the question is the one who is left with the possibilities. Our pilgrims gathered to open their souls and share the practices that draw them into "that" space. What space is "that space?" Maybe a place of quiet? The experience of silence floating in a pool with ear plugs in. Taking a long walk to hear your own soul. A good run to clear the head. Yoga, to be. Eastern mystic orthodox worship complete with icons and incense. All are "that" space. Each individually arrived; for one, not necessarily for all.

Is God always in "that" space? You'll have to go there and discover your own story.

Fall back into the soul and rest for a moment - let your eyes flicker and search; see into the dark and the light, both together and one the same. How is it I arrived in this place? Who is walking along this pilgrims path? I thought this my road to be trudged alone? "Oh, no, I don't think so," whispers the singing voice of mist and dream. But, this is no dream. It has connection, palpable presence. Who is this reaching out for my soul? I pray it is you Holy Abba, hear my prayers and know my heart. For in you I fall back and rest.

Our pilgrims of evening came to hear fellow traveler stories. We left with a little bit of shared "that space."

God? In the betrayer?

It seemed so easy to discuss the topic of betrayal as long as the pilgrims focused their attention on Judas. That universal bad guy. The ultimate betrayer. While the Gospel of Judas may try to do a "historical corrective," poor Judas' persona is set in the proverbial stone. Even the rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar couldn't remove the stain of 2,000 years worth of bad press for the worse kiss in history.

But try and move the discussion away from a transference conversation into a personal mode of who screwed who, when; well that was almost impossible. Why is it so difficult to talk about being betrayed? Or worse still, the most obvious, is it even possible to talk about being the one who plants the wet kiss on a friend's cheek? Well, it's all too personal. And besides that, the issue of the "f" word always gets into the debate.

No, not that "f" word. I'm talking about Forgiveness. It's too hard to talk about forgiving and being forgiven or not forgiven.

To encounter the way too painful heart matter of betrayal in a manner that opens the wounds of reality and honesty, the faint notion of forgiving and being forgiven must surface. Surface, because forgiveness is suppressed out of hate, revenge or more often just for emotional survival.

So let's deflect for a minute. Did Jesus forgive Judas? Would you? Ok, never mind that second question. Back to the original. Did Judas receive Jesus' forgiveness? Maybe, that's two different questions. There is a difference between Jesus offering the forgiveness and Judas feeling forgiven. In that difference may lie our own issues with the slash of betrayal and the healing of forgiveness.

There are no easy answers. Only more complex questions. However, only when the questions are asked can the betrayed and the betrayer move one step closer to possibly embracing forgiving and being forgiven.

Every Life is a 7 mile pilgrimage

One of my dear friends made pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago. Another walked the Wicklow Way. Both of their lives were deeply touched. They endured aching backs, blistered feet and iffy weather to make pilgrimage; to journey down the road to find soul and self.

On their pilgrimage each story is filled with meeting new people. Every story encountered is centered around the sharing of meal and drink. It seems to be the ritual of life for pilgrims.

It's 7 miles from Jerusalem to Emmaus. Two of Jesus' followers were walking along the road three days after Jesus was crucified. A "stranger" joins them on their journey. This man is intriguing because of his lack of knowledge of the biggest "news" in the land; Jesus, the Rabbi, has been crucified and some women say his tomb is now empty.

While on the road they talk theology and scripture. They found a common language. They were hoping to understand and the stranger offered interpretation. As the evening drew near and the travelers arrived in Emmaus, the stranger was invited to stay the evening and share a meal. He accepted their hospitality; the ritual of life for pilgrims.

As they sat at the dinner table the stranger took the bread, blessed it, broke the bread and gave it to his hosts. At the table of life in the ritual of pilgrims the Christ was revealed.

All people are "peregrini:" life is a pilgrimage. Life is a 7 mile pilgrimage from expectation down a long dusty trail of reality. It is in the ritual of life with those who travel the same path that we might find hope's nourishment. What appears to be most startling is that the revelation of life's secret is found in the stranger.

Sit down from your walk for a moment. Take off life's burdensome pack. Take out some bread and wine. Make a table. Offer a stranger who walks along some nourishment. See what is revealed in the breaking of the bread.

Easter's peace.

God? In this tasteless wafer?

Feast Sunday, Resurrection Sunday, Easter we celebrate! Yet, when many of us walk down the aisles of our Churches we will be handed a small piece of something that has little of any reminder that we are experiencing a feast. It actually tastes more like cardboard or Styrofoam. Fortunately, we can wash it down with a little wine. Some may be fortunate enough to have bread that tastes like a feast. The question, though, has nothing to do with the culinary value of communion bread.

The question is: Is God really in this tasteless wafer (Or Wonder Bread)? However, this isn't a theological question. The question has nothing to do with transubstantiation or Presence or rememberances. The real question is: Where is God? Can God be contained in a wafer and wine? Or in a Church? Or in nature? Or in anything for that matter? So where is God? I'm not really sure. But, I can share with you where I've experienced God.

The experience of God was palpable last week when Peregrini gathered at Fair Trade Cafe around a table of pasta, bread and wine. We didn't say any magical words. We asked lots of questions about God and of God. We opened ourselves to one another. We had fellowship. We had communion.

Ok, so Church isn't important? Not sure about that. I think Church gives us a language around which to formulate questions. It gives us some benchmarks with which to sort through the possibilities in community. But, Church is not in the building. Church is where the people gather and share in the communion bread of life. Church is where people are present to one another and where people open themselves to the possibility that God is Present to them.

God? In this tasteless wafer? Come to think of it I was looking for a miracle in Easter. As I share in Easter communion this week my visual image will be sitting around the Peregrini table with laughing and story telling friends, eating bread and drinking wine.

What would MLK do?

April 4, 1968 Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated on a Memphis balcony as he rallied to support sanitation workers for better wages. The day before he was killed Martin Luther King, Jr. proclaimed that he had been "to the mountain-top," and he had seen the "promised land," a land where all people would be "free at last."

April 4, 2006, a 1,000 people gathered outside the Arizona State Capital to pray for God's Presence as Congress and the State Legislators consider proposed laws that could make 12 million people in this land instant felons.

Methodist Bishop Minerva Carcano preached words that sounded as if they were spoken by MLK himself.

"Instead of building walls along our border, instead of allowing men, women and children to die in the desert while they seek only bread and hope, let us commit to finding ways together to create a world of justice and of peace. The time has come for undocumented immigrants to be allowed to come out of the shadows of life in this country, be acknowledged for the contributions they have made to our society and given the opportunity to become citizens."

What is frightening though is that there are people in our country who are advocating a vigilante violence as a solution to immigration. On April 3 on KFYI Radio, talk show host Brian James said that he "had no problem" with shooting those crossing the border. Does this man speak for the mainstream? I pray to God that he does not. But, I fear otherwise.

Racism and bigotry is showing its ugliest of heads. Have not the lessons learned from Martin Luther King, Jr. made any difference in America today? Is fear the driving force of our society? Or is it greed; a greed that breeds isolationism and protectionism. Is this country on the verge of a civil uprising?

What would Martin Luther King, Jr. lead us to do today? What would Jesus ask us to do? Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and those in prison, and welcome the stranger. It seems pretty clear what Jesus expects and its obvious what MLK would do. The question is what will I do? What will you do?

It could be overwhelming. But, as Edward Everett Hale said, "I cannot do everything but I can do something, and what I can do I will do, so help me God." Do unto your neighbor as you would have do unto you and welcome the stranger. How's that for starters?

Ode to grandads

A few friends and my own children have lost their grandads in the past months. Grandads, papas, tatas, seem to capture that special place in our heart. A place inhabited by great story tellers who smell like Old Spice and cigarettes; never offensive and somehow funny while not trying to be.

To be a "good old man" takes the seasoning of many battles with a just a few more wins than losses. It takes the kind of grace brought on by having suffered through the tragedies of life while still keeping a love for a child's smile. That old man wisdom that is shared by telling a story but never from a direct command of "you oughta do it this way or that."

While grandad might tell the same story every time you see him, it takes on a different meaning which each re-telling. I once used to think it was my grandad's maturing that salted the story. Now I know its my own grey hairs that enrich the flavor of remembering his tales as if he told them last night, though he has been gone from this earth for 16 years. I even hear his voice and see his wry smile when I think of him telling me about the red-headed grandmother I never knew.

Love is being hugged by your tata when you know his embrace is saved for you. Love is seeing his tears shed for your imperfect life seen through his eyes that make you somehow better today than yesterday. Love is knowing papa will hold your hand like no other can or ever will. Love is remembering.